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ABRACADAVER

Transcribed by Alan Back.


(Opening shot: the city skyline in the afternoon.)

Narrator: The city of Townsville! (Turn down toward the street.) A magical town full of wonder and excitement.

(Pan quickly to an old, run-down building, its windows smashed and shreds of old posters by the doors. It bears a sign: “MAGIC.” The girls and the Mayor stand on a platform nearby.)

Narrator: And hey—speakin' of magic, what’s going on at the old Townsville Magic Theatre? Let’s take a look.

(Dissolve to a close-up of the four.)

Mayor: What a wonderful day for a celebration. (Cut right slightly; now Ms. Bellum is on the platform, on the girls’ other side.) Girls, have I ever told you the story of this old theatre?

Ms. Bellum: (to them) Just say yes.

Girls: No.

Mayor: Well, splendid. This theatre is the most historic site in all of Townsville. Why, I used to see shows here when I was your age.

(He jumps up and grabs hold of the corner of the building, kissing the brickwork. Near him is a tattered poster showing a goateed, mustachioed magician brandishing his wand. It bears the words “Al Lusion On Stage.” The Mayor takes notice of this after he stops kissing.)


Mayor: Huh? What’s this? (Close-up of the poster; he continues o.c.) A theatre poster from the final performance of Al Lusion, the greatest magician of all time!

(On the end of this, dissolve to a black-and-white shot of the magician, Al Lusion, putting on his stage show. The view is grainy and scratched, as if from an old silent movie; the background music changes accordingly, and the characters we see are not heard speaking. Lusion waves his wand over a rabbit on a stand next to him and turns it into a potted plant with a rabbit’s head.)

Mayor: (voice over) I oughta know. (Cut to a happy kid in the audience, wearing a beanie and monocle.) I was there.

(This is the Mayor’s young self. Back to the stage, where Lusion has gotten rid of the plant/rabbit and set a top hat on the stand. He holds an egg.)

Mayor: (voice over) That night, he performed the most incredible feats ever seen. It was a spectacular show.

(During this line, the magician breaks the egg into the hat, reaches in, and pulls a moose partway out. The young Mayor claps in delight. Now Lusion leans out over the edge of the stage as people clamor for his attention.)

Mayor: (voice over) Then he asked for an assistant from the audience.

(Cut to the young Mayor, hand raised eagerly.)

[Animation goof: He is now in a different seat, at the end of his row.]

Mayor: (voice over) I raised my hand, but he chose another. He chose a little girl.

(As he says this, pan along the row and stop on a child whose face is hidden under a huge, low hat. One hand holds a small teddy bear. She peers up—a girl whose face looks very much like those of Townsville’s current protectors. She has a definite nose and fingers on her hands, one of which she raises.)

Mayor: (voice over) A charming creature as sweet as any of you Powerpuff Girls. (She jumps out of her seat and is helped up to the stage.) Once onstage, he asked to borrow the girl’s stuffed bear.

(He points at the teddy bear on the end of this line, then pulls it out of her hands. She watches, surprised, as he holds it between his palms and brings them together. The bear disappears in a puff of smoke.)

Mayor: (voice over) And he instantly made it vanish right before her eyes.

(He waves the smoke away and takes a bow; the girl, however, is very distraught. Tears form in her eyes, and she reaches toward the dissipating smoke.)

Mayor: (voice over) Heartbroken without her bear—

(She throws herself at him and accidentally pulls his pants down; a rabbit pokes its head out and hops away on the next line.)

Mayor: (voice over) —she revealed him to be nothing more than a sham.

(She giggles at the sight, but now Lusion has trouble coping with the situation. The Mayor laughs in voice over as magic cards, balls, and more rabbits jump out of his pants.)

Mayor: (voice over) Oh, we all laughed at the big phony!

(Audience members get quite a rise out of the show gone wrong; their faces spin through the head of the crushed Lusion. He begins to stumble back and forth, pants still down around his ankles, to try to round up all his props. Pan quickly to an open case at one end of the stage. It is filled with spikes—the medieval “Iron Maiden” torture device. He careens toward it as the girl reaches toward him and the audience keeps laughing.)

Mayor: (voice over) But our laughter quickly turned to tears—

(The audience’s faces go slack with shock. On the next line, Lusion tumbles even closer to the case, the Mayor points in alarm, and the audience screams before covering their eyes to avoid seeing the inevitable.)

Mayor: (voice over) —as the magic was silenced forever.

(The Iron Maiden slams shut and falls over onto the stage. Around it, the scene dissolves to the present day—it is undisturbed, though the curtains behind it are rotting away. Pull back to show it in a decaying auditorium, the plaster falling away from the proscenium. Dissolve to the exterior of the theatre.)


Mayor: (softly) Poor old Al Lusion. (taking off hat) Poor old theatre.

(He and the girls bow their heads for a moment of silence; if Ms. Bellum does likewise, we cannot see it. The quiet is abruptly broken by his next line.)

Mayor: (putting hat on) Oh, well, let the festivities begin!

(Said festivities consist of the demolition of the theatre by several wrecking balls. They swing back and forth as the Mayor cheers them on deliriously from on and off camera.)

Mayor: Yes!…Yes! Smash it! Smash it!…Boom! Boom!…Pow! Pow!…Smash it, smash it, smash it!

(One of the wrecking balls swings into the auditorium and lands squarely on the Iron Maiden before being pulled away. A trick panel in the bottom of the case is sprung open by the hit. Zoom in slowly on this to a close-up. A desiccated, shaking arm clad in men’s evening wear reaches into view and produces a bunch of black, dead flowers after a tense moment.)


(Cut to an extreme close-up of the screaming mouth of one of the girls. We hear all three of them, and the camera pulls back to show them on the living room couch, with the lights out. They are watching an old black-and-white horror movie in which people are rising from the dead as zombies. They shamble forth from their resting places, moaning and looking for living flesh; we see a steady parade of half-decomposed faces with the remains of their eyes fixed in a dead stare. The procession makes its way out of the graveyard as the girls watch, shivering with fright—even Buttercup, the original hardcase, is not immune.)

(A crash of glass startles them into diving behind the couch; they poke their heads out from underneath the cushions.)

Blossom: (gasping) What was that?

Bubbles: (voice shaking) I think it…it was a zombie!

Buttercup: Cut it out, Bubbles. There’s no such thing as zombies.


(Cut to a screaming woman in the streets of Townsville. The sky has taken on a weird red glow.)

Woman: A zombie!

(Quick pan from her to a rotting figure dressed in the remains of the aforementioned evening wear. One of the shoes is gone, and a tattered cape hangs down in back. Turn up to the face as the Narrator speaks.)

Narrator: Oh, no! It’s Al Lusion! He’s returned from beyond the grave as Abracadaver, the magical zombie!

(Abracadaver’s face is a withered, shrunken horror, with angry red eyes set deep above parched cheeks. His teeth have gone helter-skelter, and his once-handsome goatee and mustache hang in shreds. His top hat now resembles a dented tin can, and its upper surface has fallen open. His voice is slow and rusty from several decades of disuse, but still carries forth his smoldering fury. It also has perhaps a bit of a Russian accent.)

Abracadaver: You laughed at me..but now, revenge!

(He shoots a spell from his hands; this connects with two kids playing a game of cards. They find themselves turned into giant playing cards. Two carpenters are hard at work sawing planks, but are quickly imprisoned within boxes for the old “saw a woman in half” trick, with their own saws slicing down into the wood. Abracadaver shoots a spell at a school bus, turning it into a giant, diseased-looking rabbit and leaving the driver and kids sitting on its back. The animal bounds along the street.)

(As a crowd of people watches, stunned, a car and a milk truck collide head-on. The zombie magician strides through the onlookers, preparing himself for another ghastly trick. Now he stretches out one hand and zaps the spire of a building; this becomes a giant birdcage, complete with a sickly bird on the swing inside. Several people standing in a group screaming are turned into trees. A dog preparing to relieve itself at a hydrant finds its toilet turned into a bigger, angry dog that chases it away. Giant playing cards bounce down the street as flowers bloom from the roofs of buildings; the school-bus-turned-rabbit hops in and out among the structures and finally moves o.c. A tall building is transformed into a house of cards, from which Abracadaver swipes one near ground level. The entire house collapses, showering cards everywhere; when the screen clears, we see that giant saws have gone to work on various bits of the skyline. Pan slowly across the city to show the rest of it in a similar predicament.)

(Cut to the Mayor’s office. He and Ms. Bellum are watching a saw cut through the wall on its way to them, at about the level of his head.)

Mayor: Hmm. That’s peculiar. Uh, Ms. Bellum, do you see this saw I see?

Ms. Bellum: Yes, but can’t you see that all of Townsville is under attack? (The saw cuts through the Mayor’s hat.)

Mayor: I think my hat’s under attack! Call the haberdasher! (Ms. Bellum clears her throat.) Oh, and the Powerpuff Girls.


(Cut to the exterior of the girls’ house. The sky is normal here—it is nighttime, and all the downstairs windows are lit up. Inside, the movie is still running; one zombie has its hands at another’s throat. Pan slowly across the girls, who are shaking with fright but pinned to their seats. Blossom, in the center, eats popcorn from a big bucket in front of her. The music and the suspense build to an unbearable climax, which is reached on both fronts almost simultaneously. A woman screams in the movie just before the hotline starts to buzz. The phone’s face does not show its usual happy smile, but instead looks very uneasy. The girls scream and dive behind the couch again. This time, Bubbles pops up from behind one end, Blossom from behind the other corner, and Buttercup from underneath the cushions.)

(Now the hotline wears a very frightened look as Blossom peeks over the edge of its stand and eases the receiver out of its cradle. This is its first appearance in the living room.)

Blossom: H-H-Hello?

[Animation goof: The cord connecting the receiver to the body of the phone switches sides during this call.]

(On the other end, the wall of the Mayor’s office has now been completely cut away.)

Mayor: Blossom! You girls have to help at once!

Blossom: W-W-W-Why? What is it, Mayor?

Mayor: My favorite hat’s been ruined, and, uh— (Abracadaver stalks into view outside.) —oh, yeah, Townsville’s under attack by an evil demented zombie magician.

(On the end of this, the zombie lets go against two more buildings.)

Blossom: WHAT?! An evil demented zombie? (The girls scream.)

Buttercup: No way! I’m not going!

Bubbles: Me neither. (Blossom has hung up the phone.)

Blossom: I know it’s scary, but—we have to.


(Cut to the exterior of the house. A wolf howls in the distance as shreds of cloud drift past the full moon. The front door opens slowly, and Blossom peeks out and looks around.)

Blossom: All clear. Let’s go. (She floats out, her sisters following.)

Narrator: B-B-Be careful, girls. (Cut to them flying through the city.) Abracadaver has some evil tricks up his sleeve!

Buttercup: (gasping, pointing) Look! There he is!

(He has set himself to the task of levitating several buildings at once. Cut to the girls, who have reached ground level.)

Buttercup: (to Blossom, voice shaking) Go on. Go on.

(Camera follows Blossom as she floats over to Abracadaver. Her next words are timid and uncertain—exactly the way you would expect the leader of this superhero trio not to sound.)

Blossom: (tugging his cape) Oh…um…excuse me, Mr. Zombie, sir.

Abracadaver: Wha—?

Blossom: Could you stop destroying Townsville with your evil zombie magic?

Bubbles, Buttercup: Please?

(The magician gets a good look at her and recoils slightly, gasping with surprise. He quickly finds himself again.)

Abracadaver: You! (His perspective of her.) You’re that girl! (Dissolve to the little girl from long ago.) Girl with bear!

(Dissolve back to Blossom.)

Blossom: Huh…? (Back to him, towering over her.)

Abracadaver: You ruined Al Lusion! You make them laugh at me, but now, revenge!


(He holds up his left forefinger and pulls out a large pocket watch with the other hand. Now he points at this, directing Blossom to concentrate on it as it swings back and forth. She does so and begins to become mesmerized by it. He keeps swinging the watch, and her eyes follow of their own accord. Bubbles and Buttercup can only watch as the reflection of the timepiece becomes visible in her glassy gaze. Now Abracadaver asserts his hypnotic power, she tries one last time to resist, but falls completely under his control. He smiles in triumph as she floats motionless and slack, knowing nothing but the watch.)


Buttercup: You put her down!

Abracadaver: Huh?

(She charges at him and delivers a solid punch that propels him into a wall; he falls to the ground in pieces.)

Buttercup: Sorry to break up the act.

Bubbles: (flying up to her) Buttercup! Look!

Buttercup: Huh?

(Cut to the hand holding the watch. It is floating in midair and still swinging the watch in front of Blossom, keeping her in a trance.)

Bubbles: (from o.c.) It won’t stop!

(The pieces of Abracadaver float off the ground and begin to reassemble themselves. First the head and torso connect, followed by the legs and the left arm. The other two girls are caught off guard.)

Buttercup: Uh-oh! (Back to Abracadaver.)

Abracadaver: You hit me!

[Animation goof: In this shot, he is missing his left arm, not his right. This will correct itself when he is seen next.]

(He shoots a spell at Buttercup and traps her within a saw-in-half box. She looks at the saw cutting its way toward her and screams in fear. Bubbles gasps and zips away from the magician—and right into a waiting sack. A cord is tied around its mouth, and it is dropped into a tank of water. The cloth bulges with her attempts to free herself.)


(Blossom, meanwhile, is still deeply hypnotized by the disembodied hand’s watch. Abracadaver walks into view and attaches the limb to the rest of his body.)

Abracadaver: And now, my assistant… (Close-up of him; he has put the watch away.) …time for grand finale!

(He reaches into one sleeve and pulls out a string of handkerchiefs tied together. Onlookers gasp in fear and shock, and he lashes out with the rope and snags the hypnotized Blossom, wrapping her many times around. He pulls her in as if playing with a yo-yo, ready to end her life.)

Abracadaver: Now you meet your doom!

(He pulls back for a throw, and the camera pans quickly down the street to show an Iron Maiden standing open at a distance. Abracadaver plans to do to Blossom, thinking she's the girl who ruined him as Al Lusion, what happened to him: Seal her in the Iron Maiden to perish. Back to him; he lets fly with Blossom, and the camera follows as she sails toward the spikes. She comes to a stop with little room to spare before hitting the spikes and is yanked back as the camera follows. Abracadaver goes for another throw. The camera follows again, and this time she stops with an even thinner margin. Cut to his hand as she snaps back into it, then follow her on one more fling. The onlookers gasp in disbelief just before she hurtles into the spikes and the lid of the Iron Maiden slams shut on her. The case falls flat on the pavement. It looks as if Abracadaver had killed Blossom and attained his vengeance.)


(Cut to the stunned crowd, thinking that their heroine is dead.)

Narrator: Oh, no! Right before our very eyes— (Back to the Iron Maiden.) —the magic of the Powerpuff Girls vanished forever! (Cut to Abracadaver, his back to the camera.) Now Townsville is at the mercy of that evil magician Abraca—huh!

(On the end of this line, he turns around and tears himself in half down the middle. In his place is Blossom, still very much alive, the remains of this disguise hanging from her hands.)

Blossom: Ta-da!

Narrator: Blossom?

Crowd: Yaaay!

(She gets down to the business of freeing her sisters. First she smashes the water tank with a flying kick and shakes the sack. However, no Bubbles comes out, only a rush of air. She smiles, but then realizes that the sack is empty. Surprised, she tosses it aside and flies over to Buttercup. The saw-in-half box has now had exactly that done to it, and the two halves have been separated. She looks at Buttercup’s head, then at the other half—which has a pair of wiggling feet poking out of it. Pushing the halves together, she opens the head end and Buttercup leaps out in one piece. She looks herself over to make sure everything is there, and the two girls smile at one another. Buttercup’s expression quickly changes to one of alarm; she points at the other end of the box, where the feet are still wiggling. They both fly to this, exchange a quick glance, and open its doors. Bubbles pops out, also completely intact.)

Girls: Ta-da!

Crowd: Yaaay! (Pan to the Mayor and the girls.)

Mayor: But, girls! How did you do it?

Girls: (giggling) It’s magic, silly!


(Pan quickly to one or more members of the scene on each of the Narrator’s next queries. First up: the crowd.)

Narrator: How— (Ms. Bellum, shrugging.) Who— (The Mayor, also shrugging.) When— (A nest of birds.) But— (The girls, looking innocent.) Who’s in the—

(The head end of the Iron Maiden. Abracadaver’s arm, emerging from under the lid, falls limp—he is the unfortunate occupant of the device once more. The Narrator gasps sharply and then laughs.)

Narrator: Oh, girls! I love that voodoo that you do! (He laughs again.)


(The standard end shot comes up.)

Narrator: So once again the day is saved—thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!

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