(Opening shot: the city skyline under a bright sun.)
Narrator: The city of Townsville! And what a beautiful city she is, full of... (We hear a telephone ring.) Oh. Excuse me. (picking up) Uh...hello?
Ace: (over the phone) Yeah, listen, jerk-face, you good-for-nothin' toad!
Narrator: You can't talk to me like that!
Ace: (over the phone) How 'bout this? I think you stink! I can smell you over the phone!
Narrator: Why I oughta...who is this? (A click and a dial tone are heard.) Hello! Hello!
(Quick turn down to the Gangreen Gang gathered around a pay phone. They are laughing over their latest prank.)
Narrator: Oh. The Gangreen Gang. Why, you crank-calling good-for-nothings, when I get my hands on you, I'll...
Ace: (to rest of Gang) What a dope!
Snake: Yeah. What a dope. (He laughs, in his hissing manner.)
Little Arturo: Hey, Ace! Ace! Do another one, huh?
Snake: Yes-s-s, yes-s-s. Do another one. (He laughs again.)
Ace: (picking up the phone) All right, all right. Let's see.
(He dials a number, and we hear the phone ringing on the other end. The screen splits to show the maître d' of a restaurant in the bottom right; he picks up.)
Maitre d': (French accent) Café de Paris.
Ace: Yeah, listen, do you have frogs' legs?
Maitre d': But of course.
Ace: What, do you hop to work, then? Jerk!
(He hangs up; the Gang's side expands to full screen. All five laugh for a while, after which Ace hands the receiver to Arturo. Again we hear ringing on the other end.)
Ace: Okay, Arturo, you're up.
Big Billy: Awww...
Arturo: Okay! Shh, shh! It's ringing!
(Split-screen view again; this time the Professor appears in the other half. He picks up.)
Arturo: Hi, am I speaking to the man of the house?
Professor: Yes, by golly, you are.
Arturo: Well, then...you just won ten million dollars! (He grins.)
Professor: (flabbergasted) Te-ten million d-ten million dollars?! Oh, wow! I've never won anything in my life!
Arturo: (laughing) Please hold.
Professor: Sure, I'll hold.
(The other Gang members begin to laugh, and Arturo covers the mouthpiece and shushes them. Full-screen view: Ace lifts Arturo up to the phone, and he taps the hook to break the connection. Split-screen view: the whole Gang laughs heartily at the joke, while the Professor stands at his phone, a wide smile frozen on his face. The Gang's side expands to fill the screen again, and once more Ace picks up the receiver.)
Ace: Okay! Who's next?
(The others clamor for a chance. After a moment, Ace gives the phone to Billy and dials.)
Arturo, Snake: Aww, jeepers!
[Animation goof: Grubber's mouth moves with them.]
(Split-screen view, with a housewife on the other side. She picks up.)
Housewife: Hello? (Long silence.)
Housewife: Who is this? (Long silence.)
Billy: Billy. (Ace claps a hand to his forehead.)
Housewife: Billy who? (Long silence.)
Billy: Big Billy.
Housewife: Hey, is this some kind of crank call? (Long silence.)
Housewife: Well, it's not a very good one.
Billy: I'm sorry.
Ace: (grabbing the phone away) Aw, come on, gimme that! (into phone) Uh...Prince Albert in the fridge! (He hangs up.)
(The Gang's side expands to full screen.)
Ace: That was pathetic!
Arturo: We're sorry, Ace! We can be funnier!
Ace: Nah, it ain't the jokes, it's the pranks. They're too small-time. We're the Gangreen Gang, for cryin' out loud! We need somethin' big. Somethin' this whole city will never forget!
(He sighs and thinks for a moment. During the next line, pull back slowly to show them gathered outside Townsville Hall.)
Ace: Boys...I think I got it!
(Inside, the Mayor is standing on his desk, practicing his golf game. He puts the camera follows the ball as it rolls across, then into and out of the practice cup in front of his phone. It rings, and he picks it up.)
Mayor: Hello? (A voice is heard indistinctly over the line.) Oh! Ms. Bellum!...You need me to leave the office?
(Pan quickly to Grubber at the pay phone outside.)
Grubber: (Ms. Bellum's voice) Sir, we need you to cut the ribbon at the new mini-mall. (Pull back; the rest of the Gang is with him.) Hurry, Mayor. The crowd is getting restless!
Rest of Gang: We want to shop! We want to shop!
Grubber: (Ms. Bellum's voice) Hurry!
(The Mayor runs past them, carrying a huge pair of scissors. The Gang laughs at him after he has gone. Pull back to bring the entire façade of the building into view. We see them in silhouette, tiptoeing up the steps.)
Ace: (softly) Let's go!
(Cut to a hallway inside. Camera pans along it slightly faster than the Gang is moving and stops at the office door. Cut to inside the room; the door swings open, and the five poke their heads around the frame and gasp sharply. Pull back across the office. The hotline sits under a glass dome on the other side of the room.)
Ace, Snake, Arturo, Billy: Ooooh! (Grubber blows a raspberry with them.)
(Cut to the exterior of the girls' house in the afternoon, then to the girls themselves inside, looking up at the camera in surprise and worry. A dial tone is heard.)
Blossom: Very strange.
Buttercup: He's just standing there!
(Side view of them looking up at the Professor. He is still on the phone.)
Bubbles: Should we see if he's okay?
(Close-up of the hotline as it starts to buzz, then back to the girls.)
Blossom: An emergency! The Professor will have to wait. (She zips over to the hotline and picks it up.) Hello? (Excited talking on the other end.) What's the trouble, Mayor?...Mojo Jojo is at it again?
(Cut to Grubber, talking into the hotline in the office.)
Grubber: (Mayor's voice) Hurry! (He hangs up.)
(Pull back to show the Gang, gathered around the phone and laughing crazily, then cut to the exterior of the observatory. Zoom in and dissolve to inside Mojo's lair. In the background, we see silhouettes of an old Victrola and an armchair; classical music plays softly, and snoring is heard over this. Zoom in on the chair, which holds a napping Mojo with a newspaper over his face. After several seconds of quiet, the girls crash in through the ceiling, jolting him awake.)
(The girls start pounding on him. From his chair, he yells at them.)
Mojo: What is the meaning of...
(The end of the sentence is cut off when Blossom shoves the back of the chair down onto him, squashing him. Buttercup picks the chair up and throws it against a wall. It falls to the floor and lands on its back, leaving him looking up at the girls.)
Blossom: Don't play dumb. We know you've got some evil plot underway!
Mojo: What are you talking about?
Buttercup: Oh, like you don't have a giant robot ready to smash Townsville!
Blossom: No diabolical plans to destroy the world?
Bubbles: (rising shriek) Turn everyone into zombies and you scare people?
Mojo: Oh, for crying out loud. No! I had no intention of committing any crimes. Today.
Blossom: Then what were you doing before we got here?
Buttercup: Before that!
Mojo: Reading the paper!
Blossom: (deflated) Oh. (Long pause.) Well...you better behave yourself, or we'll be back!
Mojo: (sarcastically) Oh, goodness. I'd better not snore!
(The girls glare angrily at him. Cut to the exterior of the house as they fly in, then follow them as they float down the hall.)
Blossom: How embarrassing.
(They and the camera stop when they reach the Professor, still at the phone; we hear the dial tone again.)
Blossom: Professor, what are you...
(Close-up of the hotline as it begins to buzz. The girls gasp o.c.; back to them.)
Girls: The hotline! (Blossom picks up.)
Blossom: Hello? (Excited talking on the other end.) Fuzzy Lumpkins has gone plumb crazy? Are you sure?...We're on our way! (She hangs up.)
(Cut to outside the house and pan quickly across the countryside as the girls take off and fly toward the forest. In the office, the Gang is laughing again. We see the girls in flight, approaching Fuzzy's shack, then a close-up of him out in the bathtub, strumming his banjo. Pan from his feet to his head, then pull back as we hear the girls approaching fast. His eyes pop open in surprise. Back to them in flight.)
Blossom: Okay, Fuzzy. Prepare to get stomped!
(Back to him in the tub; he is lost under a sudden splash of water: the girls' impact against the tub. When it clears, Buttercup is ready to deck him.)
Buttercup: This is for anything you broke! (She hits him.)
Blossom: (pulling his antennae) This is for anyone you hurt! (She lets go.)
(Close-up of Bubbles, holding the banjo. She raises it over her head.)
Bubbles: And this is for taking a bath!
(She swings; just before impact, cut back to Fuzzy. The hit knocks him beneath the surface of the water, which begins to bubble. Pull back.)
Buttercup: Uh-oh. I think maybe he was just taking a bath.
Blossom: Um...we didn't mean to...
(Fuzzy rises from the bath, towering above them and beet red with anger. They look up at him and smile nervously.)
Blossom: (giggling) I guess you weren't going crazy. You were just taking a bath.
(All three giggle and inch away to one side before dashing off at top speed. Back to the exterior of the house as they fly in, then to the girls in front of the TV. In the background, the Professor is still on the phone; we hear the dial tone again.)
Buttercup: Strike two for the Mayor!
Blossom: Yeah. First Mojo's innocent, then Fuzzy Lumpkins is clean. What's next?
(Close-up of the hotline as it begins buzzing as if to answer her question. Blossom flies over and picks up.)
Blossom: (sarcastically) Hello, Mayor. (Excited talking on the other end; her eyes pop open.) Are you sure?...Really?...Really?...Really?...Oh...Okay, we're on it. (She hangs up; pan to bring the others into view.)
Buttercup: Is he pulling our leg again?
Blossom: No. This time it's serious. It's..."Him"! (This gets a reaction.)
Bubbles: You mean the evilest of evil?
Buttercup: The cruelest of cruel?
Blossom: The Mayor wouldn't joke about this one. Come on! Let's go! (They take off.)
(In the office, the hotline is hung up and the Gang laughs over their latest coup. Cut to a close-up of a TV screen, on which an aerobics instructor leads a workout.)
Instructor: Here we go, ladies! And squat...and up...and squat...and up.
(On the end of this, the camera pulls back and turns around to show "Him," dressed in a zip-up sweatshirt, gym shorts, and leg warmers. Cut to behind the TV set; he exercises his way across the screen as the program continues.)
Instructor: (on TV) And squat...and up. Okay, legs up, two, three...arms out...and reach...
(The girls crash in through the ceiling and brace for a fight; pull back as their expressions change to disbelief. "Him" is in the foreground, lying on his back and doing bicycle kicks.)
Instructor: (on TV) Kick your legs all the way around...
"Him": (effeminate voice) Hello, girls. (panting) What a pleasant surprise! Ooh, what's the occasion?
Blossom: Uh...we were wondering...
"Him": (doing push-ups) How I stay so fit? Well, now you know.
Blossom: Uh, no, actually, did you do anything...evil today?
"Him": (touching toes) No, not today. Why do you ask?
Blossom: No reason, just wondering.
(Pull back; "Him" jogs around them as he speaks.)
"Him" This figure doesn't come easy, you know. I took a little time off to get into shape.
Blossom: So...you haven't been...
Blossom: (laughing nervously) Okay, I guess we'll see you later.
"Him": I guess you will.
Blossom: Okay. Bye, then. (She exits; her sisters follow.)
"Him": Goodbye, girls. Come back soon.
(Head-on view of him with his arms outstretched. He brings one claw back onto view, holding a telephone receiver.)
(Quick pan to Mojo, now sitting in a canvas beach chair in his lair. He is on the phone.)
Mojo: All right, all right, Fuzzy, I heard you the first time...I know. (The line beeps.) I kn - hold on, Fuzzy. There's someone on the other line. (He pushes a button to pick up the call.)
"Him": (over the phone, evil voice) Mojo! It's me... (Split-screen view to show him; he continues in his effeminate voice.) ..."Him."
(The sound of this voice unsettles Mojo considerably.)
Mojo: (jumping out of chair) Yes, sir! What is it?
"Him": (evil voice) You won't believe what just happened!
Mojo: (sitting down) The Powerpuff Girls just broke in unexpected?
"Him": What?! How did you know?
Mojo: The same thing happened to me and Fuzzy Lumpkins. He's on the other line.
"Him": Well, put him on!
(Mojo pushes a button on his phone, and the screen splits again to show Fuzzy.)
Fuzzy: Bushwhacked in my birthday suit!
"Him": This is an outrage!
Mojo: You are right. We're all citizens. Evil citizens, but citizens nonetheless.
Fuzzy: Birthday suit! (He sobs.)
"Him": We should complain!
Mojo: But to who?
(Cut to the exterior of Townsville Hall. A phone begins to ring; inside, pan slowly across the office, now trashed, and stop on the Gang asleep on and around the couch. Close-up of Billy, the ringing phone right in front of his face. He wakes up and answers it.)
"Him": (over phone, evil voice) I demand to speak with the Mayor!
Billy: Uh, he's not here right now. Can I take a massage?
(Cut back and forth between "Him," phone in hand, and Billy.)
"Him": Do you know when he'll be back?
Billy: Uh...I don't know. See, Grubber tricked the Mayor into leaving so we could break in and use the Powerpuff hotline to make crank calls.
"Him": Huh?! (effeminate voice) You don't say. Well, to whom might I be speaking?
Billy: Uh, this is Billy.
"Him": Billy who?
Billy: Big Billy from the Gangreen Gang. Who is this? (A click, then a dial tone.) Hello!
(Pull back to bring the rest of the Gang into view. An o.c. crash shakes them awake. Cut to the door, where Fuzzy, Mojo, and "Him" are now standing and looking very put out. Mojo is holding a blaster.)
'"Him"': (effeminate voice, to evil) So...you guys like to make crank calls!
(The three villains charge at the Gang and start ripping into them. "Him" blasts everyone except Ace with beams from his eyes, then extends one arm towards the leader. Ace is picked up by the throat and slammed into the ground; the action is shown three times. Fuzzy tosses Arturo into the air and hits him as if delivering a volleyball serve. The midget flies across the room to Mojo, who swings Snake like a bat and knocks him back. Arturo slams into the gut of Billy, who is being held by Fuzzy. The flood of abuse that follows includes "Him" slamming a spike heel into Grubber's foot, causing him to yell in pain; when he opens his mouth, though, we hear an alarm bell instead. The beating continues as the Mayor returns to his office. He does not immediately notice the chaos around him. The camera follows him across the room.)
Mayor: (mumbling to himself) Oh, of all the foolishness. Cut the ribbon, pshaw! (He stops short and looks on in surprise.) Oh, my!
Animation goof: It is clearly daytime in Townville while it is nighttime at the Powerpuff Residence.
(The battle royal has moved to the center of the office, right in front of his desk. He tiptoes past and reaches to the hotline. Cut to the girls' bedroom at night; they are asleep. The buzzer wakes them, and Blossom answers the call.)
Blossom: (groggily) Hello?
(The fight can be heard over the line.)
Mayor: (over hotline) Powerpuff Girls! You're not gonna believe this! The Gangreen Gang, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins, and "Him" are fighting right here in my office!
Blossom: (hanging up) Yeah, right, Mayor. Very funny.
(Cut to the bed as she tucks herself back in. The hotline begins to buzz again, waking them. They glare o.c. in its direction, and Buttercup fires a blast from her eye lasers toward it. Pull back; the hotline has been reduced to ashes, and the girls settle down again.)
Girls: Good night, Professor.
(Pan across the room to the door. Through it; we see the Professor standing in the hall: still with the phone in his hand and the frozen smile on his face. We hear the dial tone yet again.)
(The background for the end shot comes up.)
Narrator: So once again the day is saved...
(From left to right, Mojo, "Him," and Fuzzy appear, looking tough.)
Narrator : (bewildered and unbeliever) ...thanks to Mojo...Fuzzy...and "Him"?
(The background music falls apart as quickly as his composure.)