THE POWERPUFF GIRLS RULE!
Note: This episode is presented in letterbox format, instead of the full-frame aspect ratio used for all other episodes, and it uses the character designs from the first four seasons.
(Opening shot: the city skyline during the day. )
Narrator: The city of Townsville! (relaxed) Ahh, what a nice, calm, beautiful, and peaceful da- (A sudden tremor shakes the camera.) -aw, man!
(Quick pan to the source of the ruckus: a huge robotic copy of Mojo Jojo, complete with clothing. The blue tunic sports a white panel that tapers down into the triangular belt buckle. A few cars are swept aside, taking a good chunk of the street with them, and the camera quickly zooms in on the face, cuts to the control center inside, and zooms in to a close-up of the chair as it swivels to face the lens. Here is Mojo, whose tunic does not show the white panel; he gives us an intense, bug-eyed stare that echoes the "Dramatic Chipmunk" often watched on YouTube during 2007 and 2008.)
(After a few seconds of this, the camera backs up and he starts working the controls and laughing madly.)
Narrator: Figures! It's Mojo Jojo, the big dumb ruiner of everything!
Mojo: (grabbing a wall handle) Go, Mobile Jojo! Go!
(On this last word, he rolls backward in his chair, pulling the handle with him on a long shaft. Outside, the Mobile Jojo robot leaps high and crushes a stretch of freeway, then knocks down some power lines and takes out Malph's Market with one blow. At the controls, the crazed primate whoops it up and does a victory dance or two; cut to a close-up of Mobile Jojo's face and pull back to frame a man in the foreground as it also dances.)
(Cut to the girls in flight.)
Blossom: 'Kay, girls. Chimpy's out of his cage again. (to Bubbles) Giggles, flank right. (to Buttercup) Sourpuss, left. It's bedtime for Bonzo!
(They charge. Close-up of a monitor, which displays the message "ALERT" and a crude graphic of the approaching Bubbles, then pull back to frame a slightly perturbed Mojo. He works a couple of levers, causing Mobile Jojo to start firing beams from its eyes at a hapless building and start a fusillade into the sky.)
Bubbles: (dodging shots easily) Ahh, Mojo, Mojo, Mojo. What are you doing? (baby talk) Are oo twying to take over the world again? (She scores hits with her own eye beams.)
Mojo: (sarcastically, mimicking her) Yes, I'm twying to take over the world again. (own voice) And I'm gonna do it, too!
(A crash; red wirning lights begin to blink.)
Computer: Hull breach. Hull breach.
(Outside, the breach in question occurs when Buttercup bursts out of Mobile Jojo's chest and doubles back to start punching a few more holes.)
Buttercup: Sure you are, with your big dumb smelly robot!
Mojo: (jumping around angrily) It's not a big dumb smelly robot! It's a big awesome robot that does cool stuff! (Close-up of a button; he continues o.c.) Like this!
(He brings his fist down on the button; outside, a large missile emerges from the braincap's rim, right above the nose, but stops short once the tip of its warhead has just barely extended out of view. It strains to clear the launch tube but cannot, and a pan in that direction reveals why- Blossom is holding it in place with one hand.)
Blossom: Look, we go through this every day. You're all- (imitating him) -"I, Mojo Jojo, with my blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, shall-" (Long shot of Earth; echoing voice over.) "-rule the world!" (Back to her.) "I will be the one in control!" (Extreme close-up, panning slowly.) "Total global power shall be my responsibility!" (Pull back.) "I- "
Mojo: I do not repeat myself like that! I am clear, concise, and to the point! (Extreme close-up; slow pan.) Reiterating is not my thing! (Pull back.) I-
Blossom: And every time, Bubbles, Buttercup, and I stop you.
(Each of the other girls flies into view when her name is mentioned. Close-up of Blossom and Buttercup, panning on the next line to put the latter out of view and frame Bubbles on Blossom's other side; the blonde smiles and shakes her head.)
Blossom: When are you gonna learn that you're never, never, never gonna take over the world?
(Cut to Mojo; she is heard over a speaker.) Because no matter what you do, all your little plans- (The girls again.) -are gonna keep blowing up in your fa-
(The stopped missile detonates before she can finish the last word and throws the girls back a short distance. When the smoke clears, we see that most of Mobile Jojo's face has been obliterated by the explosion. The metal hulk falls over on its back, and the girls share a hearty laugh over the sight as police sirens approach and Mojo is swiftly taken into custody. Scuffed and bruised, he looks forlornly out through the barred rear window of the paddy wagon he has been deposited in and watches the girls take off over the city. The vehicle begins to roll as he begins to sing in his head-a quiet, wistful melody that recalls "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid.)
Mojo: I'm not a fool I know I could rule this whole wide world (He drops his head; zoom in slowly.)
What I would do (His eyes and voice harden in anger.)
To control you forevermore.
(The exterior of the jail.)
Ruined, my plan! (The wagon rolls into the yard and he is escorted to the building.)
They don't understand,
Those stinking Powerpuff Girls!
(Mug shots and fingerprints are taken; his voice softens again as he is taken-now in a prison jumpsuit-down the cell block corridor.)
Bright young Chimpy (regaining his resolve)
Who's not a wimpy, ready to stand.
[Note: The three convicts who impersonated the girls in "Powerpuff Bluff" are among the onlookers here.]
Mojo: I wanna control all the people now
- Give 'em my orders and get some action
- Give 'em my orders and get some action
(He enters an empty cell, whose door slides shut behind him.)
- Be super-awesome and declare
- That I-what's the word?
- Be super-awesome and declare
(After a moment's thought, he does a happy pirouette and jumps onto his cot.)
- RULE! (Evil smile; zoom in slowly.)
- I got a plan
- An awesome plan
- To control all of man!
- RULE! (Evil smile; zoom in slowly.)
(The smile and his fierce tone evaporate instantly; tilt up to the cell window, which shows the city skyline at night under a crescent moon.)
- I'd be so cool
- Wish I could rule
- I'd be so cool
(Close-up; he sings this final line out loud.)
Mojo: All of the world.
(Right after he finishes the last note, a prisoner's hairy, beefy arm reaches into view behind him.)
Prisoner: (from o.c.) Beautiful.
(The arm wraps itself around his shoulders, to his very great surprise and dismay-he has attracted perhaps the wrong kind of attention.)
(Cut to the exterior of the girls' house. It is now the next day.)
Narrator: Ahh. Now, with Mojo behind bars, our little crime-fighters finally get to take a break, relax, and take her easy for a while.
("A while" lasts only until their three camera-shaking screams rip the air to shreds.)
Narrator: Gosh-darn it!
(Inside, the Professor is seated at the kitchen table and reading the newspaper; the girls, gripped by sheer panic, fly in a tight circle above their chairs.)
Professor: Girls, what is it? (looking at the plates of scrambled eggs(with hot sauce he made) Too much salsa on the eggs? (rolling up paper, beating himself with it) Bad dad! Bad dad! Bad dad!
Blossom: (taking paper away) No, Professor. (His perspective of her.) It's not that, it's this!
(Unrolling it, she gives us a good look at the front-page headline as the camera zooms in. The motion cuts out the accompanying picture: a large, ornate key with an image of the globe worked into its head.)
Professor: (reading) "Key to the World Arrives in Townsville Today!" (Cut to him and Blossom.) Oh, how nice.
Bubbles: It's not nice! It's terrible! (shoving paper into his face) Keep reading!
Professor: (reading) "Keys. They open our cars, our homes, our hearts. But one k-"
(Now Buttercup flies over, with a disgusted sigh, and takes the paper from him to skim ahead.)
Buttercup: No, no, no, read… (shoving it back to him) …this!
(Only the first five words of the next line are delivered by the Professor on camera; beyond that point, it becomes a voice over as the view changes.)
Professor: (reading) The Key to the World travels the globe, spending one day in each city. It may seem just like an empty symbol of goodwill and brotherhood, but in actuality, the law clearly states that whoever possesses the Key to the World…" (surprised) "…actually does rule the world"?!?
(Accompanying images to the voice-over portion: The Key-now seen to be made of gold-zooms over the ocean, then bounces from place to place rapidly over a map of the world. A close-up of a white hand shaking a black one as a legal document scrolls by in the background, then pull back. The hands belong to two men whose bodies are done entirely in their hands' colors, and Black is passing the Key to White. Zoom in on it, the background flaring blue once it is in White's hand, then pull back as the color goes red. White is now a hulking brute, tinted an awful shade of scarlet by the new light; he grasps the Key in one hand, the world in the other, and directs an avaricious grin full of pointed teeth at the latter.)
(Back to the Professor, seen in close-up.)
Professor: Well, that's just dumb. (Pull back; the girls pace in midair.)
Blossom: (flustered) I know! We always knew about the Key, but we never thought anyone would be dumb enough to send it here! I mean, Townsville is practically Villain City, USA!
Professor: Girls, girls, girls, don't worry. I'm sure the Mayor's taken the proper measures to make sure the Key is safe. (They stop pacing and settle into their chairs.)
Blossom: Ah, you're right, Professor.
Buttercup: It's all cool.
Bubbles: (laughing a bit) We were all- (crossing eyes, faking a freak-out) "Aah! The Key! The Key!" (back to normal) So dumb.
(Close-up of the hotline as it begins to buzz; Blossom answers it.)
Blossom: Yes, Mayor?
(The next words come with enough force to blow her ponytail and hair bow back and make her hold the receiver at arm's length.)
Mayor: (over hotline) I lost it! I lost the Key!
(He screams, she hangs up, and the Professor screams and points frantically out toward the city proper. Cut to the girls in flight, also screaming, then to a piece of the skyline and tilt down quickly to ground level as the Narrator also yells. Unsavory characters are wreaking havoc everywhere: the Gangrene Gang, Fuzzy Lumkins, "Him," Sedusa, the Amoeba Boys, Roach Coach in human form, the Sandman, Femme Fatale, the Boogie Man and his friends, Princess Morebucks in her ersatz Powerpuff outfit, the Fish Balloon from "Uh Oh Dynamo," the multieyed floating sphere from "The Mane Event," the Broccoloid attack saucer from "Beat Your Greens," and a few other monsters the girls have fought over the course of the series. They charge back and forth across the screen on the next line.)
Narrator: All of the villains and all of the bratty ones and all the fuzzy ones and all the icky ones and all the sticky ones and all the scary ones and all the villains are-
(Now the screen is completely empty.)
Mojo: (from o.c.) One of us is not here!
(Quick pan to the jail, tilting up into the sky as something bursts out through the roof. It proves to be Mojo, now tricked out in a white armored suit with thrusters built into the back; its helmet is styled similarly to his braincap.)
Mojo: Go, monkey, go! (Zoom in on his face.) Mojo Jojo!
[Note: This line is borrowed from "Go Monkey Go," recorded by Devo for the Powerpuff Girls compilation Heroes & Villains.]
(He barrels along but is immediately hit head-on by the girls, leaving his suit half torn off and the rest of him a smoking shambles. Suspended briefly in midair, he holds up a sign that displays the word "CURSES," then turns it around. On the other side, in much smaller print, it reads: "Curses I say! I express my frustration with a word that I feel sums up the overwhelming feeling of anger I experience when I find myself in such unfortunate situations such as this!" After hanging here for long enough to let the viewer read all this mumbo-jumbo, sign and holder both drop like a rock. From here, cut to the girls as they swoop down toward the city.)
Narrator: Go, girls! Go!
(Ground level; Fuzzy fires his old shotgun into the ground, singing badly.)
Fuzzy: Fuzzy went a-shootin' to find the Key,
- Gonna make the world his proper- (Buttercup flies in.) -ty?
- Gonna make the world his proper- (Buttercup flies in.) -ty?
(She puts an end to both the fusillade and the serenade with one left hook; the shotgun falls neatly into the hands of Bubbles, standing in front of a key shop. Bubbles trains her eye beams on it to melt it down. Now a crane rolls down the street, wrecking ball at the ready. On the next line, cut to a close-up of the driver, who cowers as Princess, perched on the top of his seat's headrest, yells at him.)
Princess: I want that Key and I want it now! So do what my daddy pays you to do and tear it all down!
(She kicks him in the back on this last word, knocking him into the controls and causing the ball to swing out-straight toward Bubbles' back. Blossom gasps in fright, and the view changes to show one vertical panel freeze-frame at the right edge of the screen: Bubbles, melting down Fuzzy's weapon as the ball approaches. The panel jumps left by one width, now showing a closer view of the blond heroine, after which the image expands to fill the full screen width again and displays an extreme close-up of the ball about to ring Bubbles' bell. Fade to white, with a few wisps of bluish vapor floating across the screen.)
(Fade in to a close-up of Bubbles and the gun, now frozen into a block of ice, and pull back. Blossom, floating nearby, has used her ice breath to freeze both her sister and the ball, averting a very nasty bit of blunt force trauma. In close-up, the redhead lets go with one last bit of frost and a smile, but a shattering of ice causes her to gasp. Pull back; Mojo-now properly cleaned up and outfitted-has arrived and dug his fingers in to get the shotgun.)
Mojo: (pulling it out, firing) Mojo went shooting- (Fuzzy knocks him away and grabs it.)
Fuzzy: (firing) -to find the Key!
(Bits of rubble smash through the ice covering the wrecking ball, which takes out the front window of the key shop. She is also free and badly disoriented, so she cannot immediately react when Mojo pops up from inside with dozens of keys in his hands.)
Mojo: Look at all these keys!
(Princess flies over, disappears into the shop, and bashes him to the sidewalk.)
Princess: (from inside, throwing out keys)
(During this line, the camera pans away to the sidewalk, where Blossom and an irritated Bubbles are facing each other. The discarded keys all bounce off Bubbles' head.)
Blossom: (shrugging) Whoops, sorry.
(A laptop computer falls neatly into one hand, its owner into the other, and a terrible reptilian screech fills the air as she looks bemusedly upward. Quick tilt up to the Fish Balloon (FB), which has torn the top few stores off a building and is shaking them in search of the Key-dislodging everyone and everything inside in the process. Now Buttercup goes to work gathering up all the people; she lets off a frustrated scream as she works.)
Buttercup: A little help, please?
(Her sisters lift off to provide it, neatly plucking every person from the air, as Mojo floats into view. He is using the one-man helicopter capsule he showed off in "Daylight Savings," with his arms and legs protruding, and he frantically waves a butterfly net around in the shower of falling items.)
Mojo: Key, Key, Key…is that the Key?...is that the Key? (zipping past Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup in turn) Excuse me…pardon me…coming through!
(Long shot of Bubbles, zooming in as he keeps darting back and forth to her growing vexation.)
Mojo: Any…of you…seen…a…Key?
(When her face fills the screen, her last good nerve gives way and she unloads a high-frequency scream; pull back as the sound waves cause Mojo to lose all control. He gets stuck in the side of something large and red-orange, which begins to jiggle like a bowl of Jell-O due to the spinning propeller. Tilt up to reveal the rest of this something as the FB, whose screwed-up eyes and facial expression indicate that it is extremely ticklish. Finally it uncorks a great bellow of laughter and drops the building fragment it has been searching; this plunges past Blossom, Bubbles, and the loads of people they are still holding in midair. Now it is Blossom's turn to throw Bubbles a dirty look.)
Bubbles: (gesturing angrily) What?!? (Her group drops, screaming.) Oopsie.
Group 1: WHATEVER!
Buttercup: (zipping in) I'm on it!
(She cranks up the RPM's and generates the same sort of tornado she used at the start of "Down 'n' Dirty," sucking the falling people back up into the air.)
Group 1: OH, GREAT! (dropping into the funnel cloud) NICE!
(Rising to its top, she tosses in her armload of hapless passengers.)
Group 2: (sarcastically) REAL NICE!
(She and Bubbles race the dropped building section to the ground and win, stopping it at roof level. Pull back to frame Buttercup in the street.)
Buttercup: Everyone okay?
(A cut to the building dwellers leaves the answer to that one somewhat fuzzy. No one is injured, but extreme vertigo has left the entire group unable to do much more than groan and wobble/fall over where they stand. Tilt up to Buttercup, now floating a few floors up.)
Buttercup: Great! See, girls? At least someone isn't messing up around here!
(Several thuds from below snap her out of her self-congratulatory mood; she looks that way as the camera tilts down quickly to the survivors. Now all sprawled out, they point angrily off to the left; pan quickly to frame the Gang fleeing with loads of keys. Big Billy only carries one; Grubber has stuffed his pants full.)
Ace: Key to the World, Ma! Key to the World!
(They stop short upon finding Buttercup in their way; Grubber loses some of his keys, an instant before she unloads a punch that sends them flying. The keys fall as one giant, disorganized spread in the middle of an intersection, drawing the attention of the following in quick succession: Fuzzy; Princess; the FB; Sedusa, with the Mayor and Ms. Bellum suspended upside down in her hair; Roach Coach; the Amoebas; Lenny Baxter, the fat Powerpuff fan from "Collect Her"; Kitty, the cat from "Cat Man Do"; the Boogie Man and two of his buddies, emerging from a manhole; the Gang in a knocked-out heap; and Mojo, who digs himself out from underneath the Gang and throws himself toward the intersection.)
(The view changes to show the mad monkey leaping ecstatically in slow motion across the screen as hearts float past, his eyes replaced by copies of the Key. The entire image is rendered in shades of pink, except for the two gold Keys. Normal coloration resumes as he reaches the villain free-for-all that has instantly formed at the key pile. He tries to wedge himself into the knot of social deviants but cannot find a purchase, and Buttercup watches in sheer disbelief, one eye twitching a bit. The heads of her smiling sisters rise into view behind her.)
Buttercup: Yeah, yeah!
(She rockets away with almost enough speed to blow their hair off and zeroes in on a huge water tower that stands nearby. As she begins to trace around its equator with her eye beams, the rogues' gallery continues its collective pillaging of the key pile. Mojo, perched on top of the FB and unable to reach into the stash, is the only one who takes notice of a sudden rain and a growing shadow that fall on the crowd together. The source of both is the top half of the water tower, freshly severed and dropped-water and all-to cage up the group.)
(Blossom and Bubbles look on with admiration as Buttercup rises between them and smugly sticks her tongue' out at her sisters'. However, celebration quickly turns to terror as the light briefly goes red and the sound of heavy lifting comes from o.c.; cut to the source-"Him," who materializes behind the tower half and quickly grows to dwarf it. With a few waves of his pincers, he levitates both the metal dome and the mass of keys, then flips the former over to serve as a bowl for the latter.)
"Him": (effeminate voice) Ooh, it pays to have a magnetic personality.
(Now he sticks out his tongue, crossing his eyes for good measure. Close-up of Mojo in a dead run, then pull back to reveal that he is using a pair of telescoping stilts attached to his boot soles. These give him enough height to snatch the makeshift bowl away from "Him"; another close-up.)
Mojo: Yes, yes, yes! Finally the Key to the World is mi-
(He cuts himself off sharply and begins to topple over; at ground level, the girls have each put out one foot to trip him. Down he goes like a ton of bricks, spilling the keys all over the street again. We now see all the other villains, including "Him," float slowly toward the pile just as Mojo did earlier: tinted pink, eyes replaced by copies of the Key, every face beaming in anticipation. Normal imagery resumes as they converge and start a full-scale battle royal; quick pan to the girls, who stare speechless with keys flying overhead and bouncing off all three skulls.)
[Animation goof: Billy is shown with two Keys in his eyes, even though he revealed himself as a Cyclops in "Schoolhouse Rocked."]
Mayor: (from o.c., whispering) Girls!
(He pokes his head into frame.)
Mayor: (whispering) Girls! Girls! (He tiptoes over and leans in close to Bubbles.) I found it!
(Big smiles from them as he nods smugly, so he pulls it out and shows them…)
Mayor: (normal volume) My precious porcelain poodle!
(It is a dead-on copy of the one the girls accidentally broke in "Powerpuff Bluff"; seeing it, rather than the Key, in his hands sends their minds reeling.)
Mayor: (stroking it) I thought I lost this puppy.
(Clamping it in his teeth, he drops to all fours and scampers off past our heroines, every one of whom now has an uncontrollably twitching eye.)
Ms. Bellum: (from o.c.) Don't ask.
(They look in her direction; pull back to frame her standing where he had been, with a stack of assorted items from the office-including a jar of pickles-in her arms. She points after him.)
Ms. Bellum: Oh, he's picked up another scent!
(And he is eagerly sniffing at the base of a tree, which he abandons after a moment only to leap back here and dig a hole. This display of canine idiocy leaves the girls at even more of a loss for words, but it pays off when the Mayor bounds back to them with some papers in his mouth.)
Ms. Bellum: Good boy! But…Key. (Close-up of him; she takes the papers and continues o.c.) Find the Key, not…
(Her perspective of him and the soil-specked items: a stack of checks. The top one is made out to her for $250,000 and drawn on the city's account. It bears the Mayor's printed "signature," as well as the note "Fer Gud Werk" on the memo line.)
Ms. Bellum: (exasperated) …my bonus checks. Key.
[Note: The check is dated November 18, 1998, the day of the series premiere, and "thousand" is misspelled.]
(He cocks his head, puzzled. Pull back to frame everyone; he runs off.)
Ms. Bellum: (walking o.c. after him) Okay, wait for me…no, no, do not pee on that!
(After a beat and a half, the camera zooms in on the girls as Bubbles and Buttercup scream in frustration. Close-up of Blossom.)
Blossom: Okay…okay, okay. I can figure this out. I'm smart. (concentrating) Come on, think! Think! (Brainstorm.) Girls! Girls, what do we know? (Pan to Buttercup.)
Buttercup: This stinks! (To Blossom.)
Blossom: Right. What else? (To Bubbles.)
Bubbles: (distraught) We stink! (To Blossom.)
Blossom: Exactly! This situation is hopeless, and we totally can't handle it. So if we can't beat 'em, then we gotta…join 'em!
(It makes perfect sense to her, but her sisters have a much harder time bending their minds around it, if the sight of their jaws hanging full open is any indication. After giving them a few encouraging looks and getting no response, she pulls them in close.)
Blossom: We gotta find that Key.
(Now they get it; Bubbles and Buttercup trade a knowing smile and take off, Blossom following them a moment later. After all three have gone, Mojo eases his head into frame to peek after them, then stands up to wrap his cape around himself and exits dramatically. Snap to black.)
Mojo: (inhales and thinks to himself) Ah yes, peace. Wonderful peace. (As he says the following words, the camera slowly zooms in on him.) Incredible peace. Nice peace. Quiet peace. (The final zoom in; he's no longer smiling.) Boring peace. (A dove with an olive branch flies in.) IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! (His scream scares away the dove.)